News reaches me from Alyn Smith MEP that things are not all well in Belgium.

The language barrier seems to have grown:

European blogging is now live with Mr Smith @ www.alynsmith.blogger.com

John McTernan

Enough is being said elsewhere about John McTernan's stereotyping of Scots.

I just couldn't believe his CV:

Currently a Special Adviser to Des Browne
Formerly aide to Tony Blair and questioned in the cash-for-honours probe
In charge of Labour's 2007 election where they lost power in Scotland for the first time in 50 years
Consultant to the Arts Council for three months
Special Adviser to Henry McLeish
Adviser to Harriet Harman.

John McTernan is a jinx!

Who's playing and who's paying?

Now then, now then, now then ...

When the SNP won the election, Labour thought of a crafty wheeze to clip our wings. That's how the idea to strip money out of the running of Parliament to pay for yet another commission to look at more powers for Parliament came about.

Daft, of course, when they could have just joined the National Conversation like everyone else, but there you go.

Then, not content with having a wee commission, Wendy and her chums shouted for big brother in London to give them a hand and they had a wee jolly in the Scotland Office in Edinburgh.

That’s how the Conservatives and the Lib Dems were engaged – all together for a wee call for a commission, and tea and hob-nobs.

After that great larks and excitement, what more could they ask for?

A trip to London! Whoo on the Hoo scale!

Off they pop – Wendy A, Nicol S, and Annabel G – for a wee bit entertainment down south where they are met by the real heavy hitters. Lumbering in from the right is Des Browne, undefeated heavyweight champion of his own imagination, titled Secretary of State for Scotland, clambering down the Chimney is Alistair Carmichael, performing magic trips making pies disappear, and loafering in behind them all is that true political giant David Mundell.

What a six-pack they made together. I do hope that the MSPs paid for their own travel and accommodation – it would be a terribly poor show if they expected us to pay for their party politics. Anyway, the thing is, as soon as their backs were turned, up pops Gordon Brown with a cunning plan – he established his own commission (well, a Cabinet Committee) to consider the issue. Who’s on that? Well, it’s interesting because it’s all Labour Ministers and Secretaries – in London:

Secretary of State for Justice and Lord Chancellor (Chair) - Jack Straw
Chancellor of the Exchequer - Alistair Darling
Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs – David Milliband
Secretary of State for the Home Department - Jacqui Smith
Secretary of State for Defence; and Secretary of State for Scotland - Des Browne
Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs - Hilary Benn
Leader of the House of Commons (and Lord Privy Seal); and Minister for Women and Equalities - Harriet Harman
Secretary of State for Work and Pensions; and Secretary of State for Wales - Peter ain
Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government - Hazel Blears
Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury and Chief Whip - Geoff Hoon
Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families - Ed Balls
Minister for the Cabinet Office; and Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster - Ed Miliband
Secretary of State for Northern Ireland – Shaun Woodward
Leader of the House of Lords (and Lord President of the Council) - Baroness Ashton of Upholland
Lords Chief Whip and Captain of the Gentlemen at Arms - Lord Grocott
Attorney General - Baroness Scotland
Advocate General for Scotland - Lord Davidson
Minister of State, Ministry of Justice (Michael Wills MP)

How’s about them apples? All the time that the Conservatives and Lib Dems thought they were part of the great Brown stuff he was preparing to do them in.

With friends like him who needs enemas?

Helen a handcart

I received a communique from my mole last night, it began like this:

"Allo"
"Allo"
"The seagulls are flying low tonight"
"The geese are on the island"
"Zis ees very interesting"
"Why are you speaking in a funny voice?"
Anyway, the dialogue was lengthy but the upshot was this - Holyrood TV where you can watch the proceedings of Parliament online as they happen and where you can choose from an excellent archive has become required viewing in London, and not just among Scots.

I'm told that it began when under-heid bummers working on the instructions of heid bummer Broon began watching to see what they could do to help and their stories of horror spread so that now there is a bit of a fan club down there for Holyrood with Labour party workers watching events (especially FMQs). Some of them are watching so they can offer advice while others are watching for their own pleasure and research - as it were.

The general opinion seems to be "Who'd have thought that the captain of this Titanic would steer towards the icebergs?" (I'm paraphrasing, of course) and one chap with an interest in what goes on in Scotland putting forward the considered theory that "she's worse than Michael Foot".
With the mutterings of discontent throughout the Labour group at Holyrood and the threat of John McTernan getting sent north again, Labour in Scotland have started singing a new song:

I know the very hero! Step forward Helen Eadie!

This woman has all the qualifications - she was even on James Callaghan's general election campaign team - and look how well that went. Eadie to leadie I say!

NB - a wee thank you to NB for the use of the terrible pun as a title - NB used hand basket but I prefer a hand cart - much faster

Such excitement

I can hardly contain myself, I stayed up all night reading the report, did you?

What do you mean "What Report?" The report, the tome, the epoch-breaker, the Finance Committee's on the Scottish Budget, of course.

What larks, what excitements and what wonderfulness abounds! An absolutely spiffing and spot-on budget says the Finance Committee. Other fascinating information is what Labour wanted to cut from the Budget (Annexe A):

£20 million from the Roads Improvements Budget

£60 million from the Capital Works Budget

£10 million from Routine and Winter Maintenance

£10 million from Police Support Services

£5 million from Police Information and Communications

£75 million from Water Support for Borrowing (this fund is for improving water supplies)

£12.5 million from the Health Information Budget

£20 million from the former Efficiency and Reform Fund (that's right - a fund that no longer exists, but they want £20 million out of it)

£33 million from the Local Government Resource Grants

That's £245.5 million in cuts Labour wanted to make.

In addition, they wanted to cut the Mental Health Fund, the Violence Against Women Fund, the Children’s Services – Women’s Aid Fund, the Supporting People Fund and the Homelessness Task Force Fund from councils and to take the Strategic Waste Fund and Flood Prevention and Coast Protection Grant away from councils.

It's now official that Labour MSPs are as daft as Edinburgh's Labour councillors who thought they should sell off the buildings the council owned to make up for the big hole in Edinburgh's revenue budget left by the Labour council when they got turfed out of office in May.

I can exclusively reveal that Labour politicians are daft!

That's not all folks! Labour and Lib Dem MPs and most Conservative MPs voted in the London Parliament to rob more than £1 billion from the Lottery money that normally gets distributed to good causes. Scotland's share of that £1 billion plus would have been around £184 million.

Just to be clear about this, this is the kind of project that the Big Lottery Fund has financed recently in Scotland, the kind of project whose funding has just been stolen to pay for London's Olympics:

1. Harmony - bringing some cheer to lonely pensioners in the Borders

2. Gorbals Recycles - a scheme to provide employment, training and volunteering in the Gorbals

3. ENABLE Scotland - helping young people with learning disabilities in Angus

4. Moray Carers Project - to bring some succour and support to carers in Moray

5. Greyfriars Community Project - there to support " 500 of the most marginalised and vulnerable people in Edinburgh"

6. Fife Survivors and Users Forum TODAY - supports people with mental health problems

7. The Myatt Project - provides support to people with a disability in Glasgow

8. Getting Better Together - to help young people with social disadvantages, including poverty.

9. Parkinson's Self Help Group - to support people suffering Parkinson's disease

10. Melville Housing Association Limited - helping homeless people

These are the kind of projects which will lose out thanks to London Labour Ministers deciding to rob the lottery for the London Olympics, and they were supported by Labour's Scottish MPs, including:

Mark Lazarowicz; Alistair Darling; Douglas Alexander; Nigel Griffiths; Des Browne; and Jim Devine as well as Lib Dems like John Barrett; Willie Rennie; and Alistair Carmichael.

To think that Wendy Alexander had the cheek to say that Labour stood up for the poor, the weak and the dispossessed. I hope they are all hanging their heads in shame.

Ach no!

Just when there's an opinion poll that makes you think that we might have a wee contest to get excited about (see some soft soap), another one comes along (from the Daily Express) to make you think that it's not going to be such fun:

Scottish Constituency Vote
SNP 38
Labour 29
Conservative 14
Lib
Dem 14
Other 6

Scottish Regional Vote
SNP 30
Labour 27
Conservative 13
Lib
Dem 12
Other 18

Ach come on, Labour, Scotland needs a decent opposition. It's time to stop the scaremongering, lay out your vision for Scotland and get on with politics.

Might I suggest you start by replacing your leaders - Helen Eadie is waiting, Duncan McNeil is in the wings, Irene Oldfather is straining at the leash, and Karen Whitefield is ready to rumble. It's time to take drastic action and restore some pride in your party (but make them pay for their own leadership campaigns).

This helpful advice is provided free of charge by your friendly SNP.

Electoral Commission not very good shock

OK, in a previous post I questioned the ability of the Electoral Commission to act within the Scottish judicial system.

That sparked a debate, and I am grateful to the resident legal genius for his illumination of the case as follows (my comments in italics):

*throat clearing in Rumpole of Bailey manner*

Paragraph 7.7 of the Commission document "Managing the Scottish Parliamentary and local government elections: guidance for Returning Officers":
"there are a number of non-electoral offences that may also be relevant in the election context. Such examples include:
- making a false statement (Perjury Act 1911)
- forgery and using a false instrument (Forgery and Counterfeiting Act 1981)"

Section 18 of the Perjury Act 1911 says "This Act shall not extent to Scotland or Ireland
Section 31 of the Forgery and Counterfeiting Act 1981 provides that only the counterfeiting provisions apply to Scotland and not the forgery provisions.
See, what you have here is the imperialist attitude of England-based regulatory bodies whose opinion is that the whole world surely must follow the same rules as they do. They give no consideration to the different legal system operating in Scotland. Spycatcher springs to mind.

10 other legal errors made by the Electoral Commission:
1. Same document, para 5.20 and 5.21 - misses the three judges from the Court of Session sitting as the Registration Appeal Court also responsible for hearing appeals from the Sheriff Court in relation to the registration of electors.
2. Same document quotes wrong procedure for Election Petitions.
3. "Placemat" in relation to Scottish Parliament elections says should reject if identity of the voter "could be identified". Test under the rules is "can be identified"
4. Similarly with the "Placemat" for Local Government elections.
5. Booklet for Adjudication of Doubtful ballots also gets this wrong.
6. Guidance for Scottish Parliament elections: candidates and agents wrongly refers to the (English) Elections Petitions Rules rather than the Rules of the Court of Session
7. Local Government elections guidance wrongly refers to the (English) Elections Petitions Rules rather than the Sheriff Court Rules.
8. Guidance for Scottish Parliament elections gets the procedure for Election Petitions wrong.
9. Erratum to this guidance still gets it wrong.
10. Guidance for Local Government elections also gets the procedure for Election Petitions wrong.